The One With The Flashfoward
by Samantha14
Summary: I wrote this story after the end of Season Eight. It's set in 2013 and shows our friends ten years from now. Life-altering changes and jokes galore!!! R/R, C/M, J/P *COMPLETED!!*
1. Chapter 1

This is sort of like a reunion movie. Sort of. It's written like an episode.  
  
Title: The One With the Flashhfoward  
  
Year: 2013.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Friends or the characters.  
  
Most everything will be explained in the story at some point, but if you don't understand, just ask. Review or e-mail me @ sami57peace2u@hotmail.com. Thanks!  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's big purple apartment. A knock is heard.  
  
Girl: (offstage) I'll get it!  
  
A nine-year-old with dark hair and a resemblance to Monica (Courtney, Monica and Chandler's daughter) enters from what was Rachel's room forever ago. (it's Courtney's now) She is carrying a dustrag. She stops to dust the TV and Chandler runs out from his room and dives behind the chair  
  
Chandler: Don't get it!  
  
Courtney: Whatever, Dad. (heads toward the door)  
  
Chandler: If it's Joey, don't let him have my sandwich!  
  
Courtney:(opening door)Hi, Aunt Rachel!(hugs her)Um, did Emma come with you?  
  
Rachel: Yeah, she's downstairs with Ben.  
  
Courtney: Oh, great.  
  
Rachel: He's gonna take her to the movies and they want you to go with them.  
  
Courtney: Oh, can I?  
  
Rachel: It's fine with me, just ask your mom.  
  
Courtney: Okay! (runs to Monica's room)  
  
Rachel takes off her coat and gets a drink. She walks over towards the couch and slows down when she notices Chandler. She leans over to look behind the chair.  
  
Rachel: Chandler?  
  
Chandler: Yeah?  
  
Rachel: What the hell are you doing?  
  
Chandler: Oh, I'm hiding from Joey.  
  
Rachel:Why?  
  
Chandler: Cause he's trying to steal my sandwich.  
  
Rachel: Oh, okay. (sits down) Makes sense.  
  
Courtney and Monica come out of Mon's room.  
  
Monica: Courtney, I already said you can go to the movies!  
  
Courtney: Shouldn't I finish sleaning the TV and stereo first?  
  
Rachel: Wow, Mon, she sure is your child.  
  
Monica: ( Sarcastically)Yeah, ha, ha.(to Courtney) Go!  
  
Courtney: But--  
  
Monica: Go now or I'll change my mind!  
  
Courtney: Okay, bye!!!(runs out the door)  
  
Monica: So, Rachel how are--Chandler, what are you doing?  
  
Chandler: Shhh! I'm hiding from Joey.  
  
Monica: Joey's not here.  
  
Chandler: Oh. (stands up)I'll be over there.  
  
Monica: Why?  
  
Chandler:(shrugs) I dunno, cause.  
  
Monica: Okay, bye. 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The One With The Flashfoward  
Chapter Two  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Friends or the characters I own the new characters and actually only a few of the jokes.  
  
A/N: Okay, in my other fics, I have names for the chapters, but these don't have names, and I just thought I'd tell you, cause names wouldn't work good here. Anyway, on with the show! (did I say that last time or am I crazy?)  
  
  
  
~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting in his chair watching Baywatch. Chandler comes in.  
  
Chandler: Hey, Joe.  
  
Joey: (not looking up) Hey.  
  
Chandler: Ooh, Baywatch! I haven't seen this since, like, the last time I came over to watch it.  
  
Joey: Shhh!  
  
Chandler: Ohh, are they running?  
  
Joey:(doing that nodding thing he does so well) Oh, yeah!  
  
Chandler: Cool! (He pulls up a stool. They watch in silence for a few minutes.)So, do you think we should get another duck?  
  
Joey looks at him, surprised.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch. They don't talk for a minute. Then Monica turns to face Rachel.  
  
Monica: So, Rachel. (pause) Um. (clears her throat) That Chandler sure is crazy isn't he?  
  
Rachel: Oh, yeah!  
  
They laugh about that for a minute. Then they both sigh and there is an awkward pause. The phone rings.  
  
Monica: Thank God! (answers it) Hello?(pause)Phoebe? Is that you?(pause)Where are you?(listens. to Rachel) She's coming back from the airport. (in the phone) What are you doing there?(listens. to Rachel) She said David was supposed to come home today. He wasn't on the flight.  
  
Rachel: Why not?  
  
Monica: (to Phoebe) Why not?(listens. to Rachel) She doesn't know. (in phone) Phoebe, you're breaking up. Speak louder. (pause) Phoebe--Phoebe, I still can't hear you.  
  
Phoebe: (Outside door) I'll be at your apartment in a minute!!!!!  
  
Rachel opens door revealing Phoebe on a cell-phone  
  
Phoebe: Oh, how did you know I was here? (looks at her cell-phone) Oh, OH!! I see!  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Joey's.  
  
Joey: What was that?  
  
Chandler: Do you think we should get another duck? Or a chick. We could get a chick, too, I guess. (shrugs)  
  
Joey: Why? Why would we get a duck?  
  
Chandler: Well, I was just thinking. You know, it's been like, what, fourteen, fifteen years since we had the chick and duck. Maybe we should get another one. Or two.  
  
Joey: But, you don't live with me anymore.  
  
Chandler: Well, why not? I want another chick and duck!!  
  
Joey: I think maybe you should ask Monica about that.  
  
Chandler: Monica? It's Monica! Why would she want something that makes messes?  
  
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.  
  
They both settle in to watch more Baywatch  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. All three girls are sitting around the kitchen table.  
  
Monica: So, Phoebe, how are things going with David?  
  
Phoebe: Oh, pretty wall. He might be coming back from Minsk soon!  
  
Rachel: Really? You know, I thought he was only supposed to be there for three years.  
  
Monica: Yeah, wasn't that like twenty years ago?  
  
Phoebe: Yeah.  
  
Rachel: And...?  
  
Phoebe: Well, it's just, well, okay. Both of you are married and have kids.  
  
Monica: Yeah...  
  
Phoebe: And I've been going out with losers for years and can't find anyone. I mean, things are going good with David, I just don't see a future. And my biological clock is ticking, you know?  
  
Rachel: Yeah, but what about Joey? Wasn't he your backup?  
  
Phoebe leans back in her chair and rubs her chin in a thoughtful way  
  
Phoebe: Hmmm. Joey. 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The One With The Flashforward  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Friends. I have a couple friends, but I don't own them. And I don't own the TV show. Man, I just get weirder and weirder. Won't it suck when it's over???  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. The girls are at the kitchen table talking and Joey and Chandler are in the living room reminiscing about the duck and chick. Ross enters with a huge cardboard box and all we see are his legs.  
  
Chandler: Look, hon, it's that box with legs we ordered!  
  
Ross: (straining) Can...someone...maybe...help...me?  
  
Everyone: Oh, yeah, sure!  
  
Ross passes the box to Chandler, who can hardly hand it to Joey, who has a hard time giving the boc to the girls. The girls easily carry the box over to the coffee table using one hand each. The guys notice this, but prefer to ignore it and instead turn to Ross.  
  
Chandler: So, what's in that box? Bricks?  
  
Joey: Yeah, or, like, other boxes? (Chandler and Ross both look at him like he's crazy for a minute and then shake their heads)  
  
Ross: Well, it's my latest book. It just got published! (Rachel groans and hits her head on the table)  
  
Joey: How many books are in there?  
  
Phoebe: Yeah, and why is Rachel trying to make the coffee table and all the books fall down?  
  
Rachel: This book is sooo long! He's been working on it forever and now it's like seven thousand pages!  
  
Monica: (to Ross)What did you write seven thousand pages on?  
  
Joey: Dead dinosaurs? (laughs)  
  
Ross: (glaring at Joey) Yeah, actually. And just to let you know, Rachel, it's seven thousand, nine hundred, fifty-three pages.  
  
Rachel: Oh, yeah, that matters.  
  
Ross: There are five books in that box. One for each of you!!!!!  
  
Joey: (panicked)Do we have to read it???  
  
Ross: Yeah, and there's even a quiz in the back!  
  
Joey: Bye! (runs out the door)  
  
Phoebe, Chandler and Monica: Wait! (all rush out after him)  
  
Rachel: Well, I have to go to the bathroom. (walks toward the bathroom and on the way she passes the window and looks out it) Ross?  
  
Ross: Yeah?  
  
Rachel: Why can't I see out apartment?  
  
Ross: (going over to the window) What do you mean?  
  
Rachel: Instead of being able to see through the window into our living room, there's like brown stuff covering the window. What is that?  
  
Ross: Yeah, um. It's actually a funny story. (laughs)  
  
Rachel: Yeah, what's so funny about it?  
  
Ross: Um, well, you see. Ha. Well--Wait up you guys! (rushes out the door.)  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica and Chandler are playing Foosball, Ross and Joey are playing Cups (yep, cups!) at the counter and Phoebe is sitting on the couch playing her old songs.  
  
Phoebe: New York City has no power/and the milk is getting sour/but to me it is not scary/cause I stay away from dairy/Lalalalalala  
  
Joey:No!  
  
Ross: Ha!  
  
Monica: What?  
  
Ross: I got the D Cup again!  
  
Monica looks at Chandler while still being intent on the game.  
  
Monica: I have no idea why you made up that game, and I don't know how to play it, but for some reason I think that I should be mad at you about it.  
  
Chandler: Nope, you shouldn't. (they play for a minute) Ha!!!! I scored on you again!  
  
Monica: Shut up, Chandler! I hate this stupid game!  
  
While everyone pulls all dishes away from Monica, Rachel bursts in the door.  
  
Rachel: Ross!  
  
Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe: Uh-oh!(they all retreat to the couch while Ross stays at the counter cowering under Rachel's glare.)  
  
Rachel:Ross, why the hell are all those damn boxes in our apartment?  
  
Ross: What do you mean?  
  
Rachel: I could hardly get in the door! If there's five books in each of those boxes, there's still at least five hundred books!  
  
Monica: Oh, my god!  
  
Chandler: I didn't realize five hundred people wanted to be bored to death.  
  
Joey: I'm not gonna hve to read a book, am I?  
  
Phoebe: Hey, guys, listen to my new song! I just thought it up. (starts to sing) So no one told you life was gonna be this way(claps four times)Your job's a joke, you're broke/Your love life's D.O.A.(spoken)That's Dead On Arrival. (sings)It's like you're always stuck insecond gear/When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year.  
  
Monica: That sounds familiar.  
  
Phoebe: Shh! I'm not finished!  
  
Monica: Oh, okay.  
  
Phoebe:Shhhhhh! (shoots an evil look at Monica and then continues singing) But I'll be there for you/When the rain starts to pour/I'll be there for you/Cause you're there for me toooooo.  
  
Rachel: Wow, Phoebe. That song was really good. Are you gonna put it in your act?  
  
Phoebe: No.  
  
Joey: Why not? It's great.  
  
Phoebe: I'm bored with it now.  
  
Everybody: Oh, okay.  
  
Phoebe: Listen to this one:(sings) The other day, I was in the coffee shop/Sat on my butt, and got quite a shock/Turns out I sat on someone's spilled drink, yes me!/That's really good, cause I thought it was--  
  
Ross: (interrupting) Yeah, that's enought Phoebe.  
  
Phoebe: Okay. (goes back to playing her old songs)  
  
Rachel: Ross, what are you gonna do about those boxes and all those books?  
  
Ross: Well, I was gonna give them to all my friends and family, but as someone (looks at Chandler who ducks away in mock embarrasment) pointed out, apparently they don't wanna read it. So, I don't know.  
  
Rachel: Well, you better do something, and you better do something quick or else you're gonna find yourself divorced from me for the third time.  
  
Ross: I'll be right back. (rushes out door)  
  
Joey: Hey, Chandler, we better get going if we're gonna (looks at Monica) be doing what we were gonna do.  
  
Chandler: Ok. (as they head out the door Chandler leans over to Joey and says sarcastically) Wow, that was the best excuse she's ever heard. No way will she be suspicious now!  
  
Joey: (all proud) I know. I try.  
  
They leave.  
  
Phoebe: Parading goats are parading/Parading down the street/Parading goats are parading/Leaving little treats.  
  
A knock is heard. Monica opens the door. It is Courtney, Emma(who is eleven and blonde), and Ben(who is eighteen and blonde). Courtney is not surprised that her mother answered the door and no one who lives in the apartment is there.  
  
Rachel: Hi, sweetie. (hugs Emma) How was the movie?  
  
Emma: Oh, it was good.  
  
Phoebe: Really? Cause I heard that it sucked.  
  
Ben: Yeah, it did.  
  
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey! Have you heard me sing?  
  
Ben, Emma, and Courtney: Yes.   
  
Phoebe: Okay, well I'll sing for you anyway! Any requests?  
  
Emma: Ohh! Little Tony Tarzan!  
  
Phoebe: Okay! (sings) Little Tony Tarzan/Swinging on a nosehair/Swinging with the greatest of ease...  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: The hallway. You know which one. Joey and Chandler are coming back from getting the duck and the chick. Joey is carrying the chick and Chandler is carrying the duck. Then Gunther runs up carrying a pigeon.  
  
Gunther: (to Chandler) Hey, Joey! So are we giving these birds to Rachel?  
  
Joey and Chandler just stare at Gunther.  
  
Gunther: Oh--Okay. (runs away)  
  
Joey and Chandler start to go into Joey's apartment, but they notice Monica and quickly close the door.  
  
Chandler: What is she doing over there?  
  
Joey: I don't know. How come none of us ever lock our doors?  
  
Chandler: Except when people have to get it.  
  
Joey: Yeah. Hey, remember when Rachel was gonna go skiing on Thanksgiving and then she got locked out?  
  
Chandler: Yeah, what was that, the first season? (looks offscreen and gets nervous.) I mean, that was really funny.(does his work laugh)  
  
Joey: Yeah, that _was_ funny.   
  
The guys both laugh. Monica opens Joey's door and stares at the two of them. After a while Chandler turns around to go into Joey's apartment and notices Monica. He does that startled thing that he does so well.  
  
Chandler: Bah! Hi, honey. (tries to hide the duck behind his back.)  
  
Monica: Why do you have a duck?  
  
Chandler: What? What duck?  
  
Monica: The duck behind your back.  
  
Chandler: I don't have a duck behind my back! Are you feeling alright? (goes to feel her forehead and brings his hands from behind his back. He's still holding the duck)  
  
Monica: A-ha! You're holding a duck!  
  
Chandler: You caught me. You caught me. Joey and I got a chick and duck. Don't worry, they'll be staying at his apartment.  
  
Monica: Why?  
  
Chandler: Because you don't like things that make messes. You're Monica, not Joey.  
  
Joey: Hey!  
  
Chandler: Well, think about it!  
  
Monica: Courtney probably wouldn't mind a pet. She is nine, you know.  
  
Chandler: So, I can keep the duck?  
  
Joey: Oh!  
  
Chandler: What?  
  
Joey: You're right, I'm kinda messy.  
  
Chandler: O-kay. So, I can keep the duck?  
  
Monica: Yeah, sure.  
  
Chandler: Cool!  
  
Joey: Hey, can we maybe share?   
  
Chandler: HOw do you mean?  
  
Joey: You know, you get the duck and chick for a week, I get the duck and chick for a week.  
  
Chandler: Sure.  
  
Joey: Okay, cool! (they hug)  
  
~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Sorry it was so long. I got carried away. 


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The One With The Flashfoward  
Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Friends. I have a few, I like them, I hang out with them, but I do not own them _or_ the TV show. I watch the TV show, I own a few tapes, but I had to buy those tapes and I am not allowed to say they are mine. I am an aspiring....That was gonna be really deep and insightful, but I'm not a deep and insightful person. Okay, I'll let you get back to the story.  
  
A/N: Okay, there will be a few jokes that I took directly from the show, and sometimes they will be lame and will have nothing to do with the story except for the fact that I want them there, so this is of course, a very strange story. I am a very strange person. Okay, fine, you can read the story. Whatever, don't listen to my ramblings. Okay, gotta type!  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Joey's. Phoebe is singing and playing the guitar. Ben, Emma, and Courtney are sitting on the floor watching her. Rachel is sitting on the counter trying to figure out what Cups is.  
  
Phoebe: And now our Neil must decide/Who will be the girl that he casts aside/Will Betty be the one that he loves truly/Or will it be the one who we'll call Loolie?/He must decide/He must decide/Even though I made him up he must decide.  
  
Emma: Wow. (to Rachel)Mom, is that really about you?  
  
Courtney: That's about you, Aunt Rachel? Cool!  
  
Phoebe: (to Emma)Yes, that is about your Mom. And it's about your Dad. It's about your Mom and your Dad.  
  
Ben: Now, what have we learned so far? (A/N: See? What'd I tell you? Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. But funny.)  
  
Rachel: (to Ben) You've been hanging around Chandler too much.  
  
Ben: I know. I should probably leave now. (gets up and leaves)  
  
Courtney: Now, I understand that it's about Aunt Rachel and Uncle Ross, and I'm guessing that they are Betty and Neil, but who's Loolie?  
  
Phoebe: Why don't you answer that, Rachel?  
  
Emma, Courtney, and Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah!  
  
Rachel: No, it was such a long time ago.  
  
The girls: Oh, come on!  
  
Phoebe: Damnit!  
  
Rachel: Okay! Okay, Pheebs, now don't get hostile. I'll tell the story.  
  
Phoebe: Cool! (takes off her guitar and sits on the floor around Rachel with Courtney and Emma.)  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Joey, and Chandler are all gathered around the window, apparently staring at Ross.  
  
Monica: Look, now he's dancing!  
  
Joey: Oh, cool! Oh, we chould totally videotape this!  
  
Chandler: This is better than when Ugly Naked Guy lived there!  
  
Monica: Remember when Ross went over and it was Naked Ross?  
  
Joey: Yeah, that was freaky.  
  
Chandler: At least he's not doing _that_ again.  
  
They watch for a minute.  
  
Monica: Who's that at the door?  
  
Joey: I don't know, but I remember that lady behind her.  
  
Chandler: Oh, my god! That's Emily!  
  
Joey: And her bridesmaid! OH, what was her name? (looks at Chandler)  
  
Chandler: I don't know! I was busy covering up the fact that I was sleeping with Monica! Ow! (A/N: Yeah, Monica hit him. It's Monica, for crying out loud! Sorry, I'll leave you alone now. Just remember, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!)  
  
Joey just keeps looking at Chandler. Chandler finally gives in.  
  
Chandler: Felicity.  
  
Joey: Thanks! (runs out the door. Monica is now on the phone.)  
  
Monica: Ross, what is Emily doing over there?(listens)Well, ask her!(goes to hang up the phone) Oh, and call me as soon as you find out. (hangs up.)  
  
Chandler: Hey, now Joey's over there. (Monica goes back over to the window.)  
  
Monica: Waw, that teenaged guy looks a lot like Ross.  
  
Chandler: And, yet, somehow like Emily. (they both look at each other and realize.)  
  
Both: NO!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Joey's. The girls are still over there. Rachel is finishing her story.  
  
Courtney: And what happened after you got back together?  
  
Rachel: Well, nothing. We've been together since the last divorce.  
  
Emma: Wow. Daddy's been divorced four times.  
  
Rachel: Yep. He married a lesbian, he said the wrong name at the altar, we were drunk and in Vegas, not so much his fault, and he got all jealous about the guy at the coffee house.  
  
Phoebe: (interrupting) I still can't believe you kissed Gunther.  
  
Rachel does the famous sign for giving the finger without giving the finger. You know it. Yes you do. Phoebe sticks out her tounge before picking up her guitar and starts singing her old songs again.  
  
Phoebe: Crazy underwear/creeping up my butt/crazy underwear/always in rut/crazy underwear...  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Ross's apartment. Emily and her sister Felicity are there. They are standing awkwardly near the door. There is a fifteen-year-old guy with them. He looks like a cross between Ross and Emily. (yes, he is Ross's son. What a twist!) Ross is sitting on the couch. He has books and crushed boxes scattered around him. Joey bursts in the door.  
  
Joey: (to Felicity in that Joey way) How you doin'?  
  
Felicity: Hi, Joey. Talk New York to me.   
  
Joey: Fuhgeddaboutit! (they head out the door)  
  
Emily: Ross, I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here.  
  
Ross: Yeah, of course. I haven't seen you in forever. And you just show up. Monica's wondering too. That was her on the phone.  
  
Emily: Yes, I know. I'm not stupid.   
  
Conner(it has a name!!): Mum! Get on with it!  
  
Ross: Yeah, Emily. Why are you here?  
  
Emily: Well. I just want you to know. When we parted, after, actually, I, well, I found out I was pregnant.  
  
Ross:(high squeaky voice)Pregnant?! (clears throat. still squeaky) Preg- (clears throat. still squeaky[does this three more times] and finally) PREGNANT!?!?!?  
  
Emily: Yes, and he is yours.  
  
Ross: Okay, thank you. I-uh-I'll-uh-I-uh-I-uh...(opens door to a closet[thinks it's into the hall] and just goes into it. Emily says this loudly through the door.)  
  
  
Emily: Well, I waited to tell you, bacause when I found out, it was right after we split up, and we ended on such horrible terms, and I wasn't sure I should tell you.  
  
Ross comes out of the closet.  
  
Ross: It's dark in there. (grabs a dinosaur. kinda laughs) It's glow-in-the-dark. (goes back into the closet. comes right back out.) No, it's not.  
  
Conner: Hi, Dad.   
  
Monica and Chandler run through the door.  
  
Monica: NO!!!!!!!!  
  
Chandler: (shakes Conner's hand) Hey, man. I'm Chandler. I'm your uncle. By marriage.  
  
Conner: Hi, I'm Conner.  
  
Chandler: Cool name. Good job, Emily.  
  
Emily: Thank you, I think.   
  
Monica: It's not true, is it?  
  
Ross: What do you mean?  
  
Monica: There's no way it could be true. Because one thing's for sure, if it were true, you(Ross) would be freaking out a lot more. I've seen you learn of two pregnancies from two different women. You would be freaking out a whole lot more. A whole lot. (to Chandler.)It's true isn't it?(Chandler nods)NO!!!Okay, okay, calm down, Monica, this can't psyche you out. (to Emily) Were you sure it was Ross's?   
  
Emily: Not entirely at first.  
  
Chandler: Hah! And all that time you didn't trust Ross, he should have been not trusting you! (everyone stares at him) Monica! Say something! (Monica just stares at him and crosses her arms.) I'll just watch all of this from across the street. Where I won't talk. (lets himself out.)  
  
Ross: So, what do you want me to do about this? What, do I get custody half the year and you get custody the other half?  
  
Emily: I don't know, I don't know.(Chandler sticks his head in the door.)  
  
Chandler: Hey, can I order a pizza for dinner?   
  
Monica: Whatever you want Chandler. Now leave!  
  
Chandler: Monica, are you sure that you're not imposing on this private family talk?   
  
Monica: No! Of course not!(sees that the other three are staring at her.) Fine. I'm leaving.  
  
Chandler nods and takes her out of the apartment. Before the door fully closes, Monica runs back in and grabs two twentys out of the bowl on Ross's coffee table. 


	5. Chapter 5

Title: The One With The Flashfoward  
Chapter 5  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Friends. I do not own the characters, the name, or the actors. I own the situations that come out of the cob-webby corners of my mind. (actually, they are very tidy. Unlike my room, my bookbag, and, most of the time, my locker, my mind is utterly organized. Useless information [such as most of the jokes from Friends for the past eight years] is in the front, and stuff I need for the Spanish test? Buried in the back of my school closet. In my mind. Anyway, no more metaphors. Damn, I wasn't gonna do this! Oh, well.)  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Rachel, Phoebe, Emma, and Courtney have migrated over and are all crowded around the window. Emma and Courtney have found the duck and chick and Emma is carrying the duck, Courtney, the chick.  
  
Emma: Mom, what are we watching, anyway?  
  
Rachel: Well, it's your dad, and his second ex-wife, and apparently her son.  
  
Emma: Why are we spying on Daddy?  
  
Rachel: Because it would be rude to impose on him when he is talking to the woman who caused us to not be together...again.  
  
Courtney: Aunt Rachel, you and Uncle Ross have had a troubled relationship.  
  
Phoebe: Yes, very.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, well.  
  
Phoebe: Are they hugging?  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Ross's. Continued from before.  
  
Ross: How did you find me?  
  
Emily: Well, I asked my uncle, the one who works at Bloomingdale's, to find out where Rachel lived, because I knew that if anyone knew where you lived it would be Rachel. So I was coming here to ask her where I could find you, and you answered the door. Do you live with Rachel?  
  
Ross: Yeah. But that shouldn't matter to you. I married her for the (thinks) third time about (thinks again) four years ago. And we've got a daughter. She's nine. My eighteen-year-old son lives with his mother...s. I see him a lot. Oh, and my sister lives across the...the... way! And I have three other friends who live near here. Except for Pheebs. But anyway. Yeah, see, my sister lives over there. (turns around to face the window) Oh, they're all staring at me. (waves) Hi!  
  
Conner runs over to the window and waves too.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene:Monica and Chandler's. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Emma, Courtney, the duck, and the chick are all gathered around the window staring at Ross.  
  
Rachel: Oh, he's looking! He's looking! He's looking!  
  
Everyone runs away from the window. Monica heads toward the kitchen. Emma and Courtney head for Courtney's room. Rachel, Phoebe and Chandler sit in the living room. Rachel and Phoebe walk around the chair to get to the couch; Chandler jumps over the chair, falls down, gets back up and sits in the chair. They all try to act nonchalant.  
  
Chandler: So, Joey and I got a chick and duck.  
  
Rachel: Really? That's so interesting.  
  
Phoebe: Again? Now that just seems like overkill. (Rachel and Chandler both stare at her) So, you got a chick and duck! Cool!  
  
Rachel: Well, you guys can keep talking about the chick and duck, I'm going to the kitchen.  
  
Phoebe: Bye! (Rachel pauses and then just shakes her head.) Rachel: So, Mon, whatcha doin?  
  
Monica is obviously in the middle of making cookies. (A/N: Boy, she works fast!)  
  
Monica: I'm making cookies.  
  
Rachel: Really? (loudly) That's so interesting!  
  
Monica: What's with you?  
  
Rachel: (leans in close to Monica) I don't know, I just don't! I mean, I-- Well, I'm not sure, but I think I'm jealous!  
  
Monica: Of the chick and duck?  
  
Rachel: No! (thinks) Well--No! I think it's because of, you know, the whole Emily thing.  
  
Monica: Really? Why? Cause, I mean, you don't even know about---(realizes)  
  
Rachel: About what? What don't I know about?  
  
Monica: Nothing! Nothing at all!  
  
Rachel: Tell me! Tell me now!  
  
Monica: Alright, you see, Ross is-planning Emily a surprise party.  
  
Rachel: Why? I mean, that makes no sense. Why would I be more jealous of that?  
  
Monica: (nervous) I don't know.  
  
Rachel: Monica. What don't I know about?  
  
Monica mumbles something.  
  
Rachel: What??  
  
Monica: That teenager that's over in your apartment--  
  
Rachel: Yeah? What about him?  
  
Monica: You know how he looks like Emily?  
  
Rachel: Yeah? And?  
  
Monica: But also at the same time looks like Ross?  
  
Rachel: Yeah? (realizes) Oh!  
  
Monica: Yep.  
  
Rachel: Really? Is it really true?  
  
Monica: Yeah, Chandler and I even went over there.  
  
Rachel: Okay. Will you please excuse me?  
  
Monica: Sure.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, okay. (yells) Emma!  
  
Emma appears out of Courtney's room with Courtney right behind her.  
  
Emma: Yeah, Mom?  
  
Rachel: Get you stuff. We're going home.  
  
Emma: What? Why?  
  
Rachel: (already at door) Well, we're gonna kick your dad's butt.  
  
Emma: Okay, whatever. Bye, Courtney.  
  
Courtney: Bye.  
  
Rachel: Bye, everyone.  
  
Everyone: Bye!  
  
Rachel and Emma leave. Everyone runs to the window. 


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The One With The Flashfowards  
Chapter 6  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls. Oop, wrong story! I do not own Friends. I _do_ own the Gilmore Girls. No, I don't I swear it's true! Don't arrest me officer!  
  
I am writing this in my prison cell. Mindy lent me her cigs, and I sold them to Tiny, and she got me Courtney Cox Arquette's address, and since I'm a southern girl like her she sent me a desktop computer. So I sold that, gave Mindy about twenty packs of cigs, and bought a laptop. Anyway, you don't care about me! Okay, on with the story. Oh, and the name? I got it when I wrote it on the Friends Message Board and I couldn't think of any names, so I asked for help and that was the best one I got.  
  
  
  
~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Ross's. Emily and Conner are helping Ross unpack the books and squash the boxes. Ross is telling them all about what has happened in the sixteen years since he last saw Emily.  
  
Ross: And after Pheebs found him getting a massage from another woman on her table, she broke up with him. And since she performed a ritual to keep bad men away from her, she has no love life. And oddly enough, she can't stand to be in the room with me for longer than half an hour. Whatever.  
  
Conner: I think that I'd like to meet your friend Pheebs.  
  
Emily: Yes, me too. I hardly remember her.  
  
Ross: That's probably cause we only knew each other for a month before we got married. Oh, and Pheebs was pregnant with her brother's triplets at the time.  
  
Conner: She was pregnant with her _brother's_ triplets?  
  
Ross: Yeah, she was a--(Rachel bursts in the door.)  
  
Rachel: Ross! Hi, sweetie! My husband! (goes over and hugs him. Emma stands in the doorway for a minute before Rachel looks pointedly ar her and then Emma runs over and hugs Ross too.)  
  
Emma: Daddy! My one and only daddy! The one I give father's day presents to!  
  
Rachel: (coming out of the hug) Oh, look! It's Emily, your second ex-wife.  
  
Emily: Hi.  
  
Emily reaches out her hand for Rachel to shake. Rachel ignores it and starts talking to Ross. Emily then awkwardly shakes Conner's hand.  
  
Rachel: Look, honey! It's like a reunion! (gestures at Emily) Your second ex-wife and her child, (gestures to herself) Your third, fourth, and almost fifth ex-wife and her child. Now all we need is Ben and Carol!  
  
Ross: Yeah. Look, Rach, there's something that you should know.  
  
Rachel: Oh, you mean about Emily's son being your son too? Oh, I figured that out ages ago.  
  
Ross: And you're not mad?  
  
Rachel: No, not at all.  
  
Ross: Rachel?  
  
Rachel: (looks at Ross) Mm-hmm?  
  
Ross leans in to hug Rachel, but she walks away towards Conner. That joke is from TOW No One's Ready in the third season.  
  
Rachel: (to Conner)So, what's your name?  
  
Conner: I'm Conner.  
  
Rachel: Oh, great! I'm Rachel. I'm your dad's wife, your stepmom, I guess, and the mother of your half-sister, Emma. You also have a half-brother. He's the son of lesbians.  
  
Conner: Oh, really?  
  
Rachel: Yep. You see, Ross married a lesbian. To make his sister, your aunt Monica, look good, right Ross?  
  
Ross: (sadly) Yeah.  
  
Rachel: Yep, and then she found out she was a lesbian-Carol, Ross's first wife, not Monica-and so they got divorced. Then Carol turned out to be pregnant and then Ben was born. I think he's about four years older than you.  
  
Conner: Mum, you didn't mention how weird and complicated my family history is now.  
  
Emily: I think I forgot most of that.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, well, I think we all try to forget that.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Central Perk. The gang is there and they are talking about Ross and Rachel and Emily. Joey needs the most filling in; he was with Felicity for a _long_ time.  
  
Joey: So all the kids get along well?  
  
Ross: Yeah, it's kind of amazing. They all act like they've known each other for their whole lives.  
  
Chandler: Well, three of them have.  
  
Ross: Still. I mean, Conner fits in. No one is excluding him. (A/N: Oh, I thought of a good reason Conner's name is Conner! Emily has no imagination! Sorry.)  
  
Rachel: Can we please stop talking about hter?  
  
Monica: Yeah, guys. This can't be easy on Rachel.  
  
Rachel: Thank you Monica.  
  
Rachel gets up to get more coffee and the other five all start whispering about it.  
  
Chandler: Courtney acts like she absolutely adores her new cousin.  
  
Phoebe: I know, I was talking to her and she couldn't stop raving about him and his accent.  
  
Monica: Emma mentioned she likes his accent too.  
  
Joey: Where are Emily and Conner staying, anyway?  
  
Ross: Well, Emily and her sister are staying with their uncle.  
  
Joey: (suggestively) Yeah, I already knew where Felicity was staying.  
  
Monica and Phoebe: Joey!  
  
Joey: What? I did!  
  
Ross: Anyway--  
  
Monica: (interrupting) The uncle is the one who works at Bloomingdale's.  
  
Phoebe: Still? That's a long time!  
  
Joey: I know! And how old is that guy, anyway?  
  
Phoebe: Oh, he's gotta be at least a hundred.  
  
Joey: I wonder if he calls it Bloomie's.  
  
Joey and Phoebe giggle. Ross clears his throat and glares at them.  
  
Joey: Never mind about that. Where is Conner staying?  
  
Ross: Well, Emily said that I needed to get to know him, so he's sleeping on our couch.  
  
The other four: (really loudly) REALLY??  
  
Rachel rushes back over.  
  
Rachel: What? Really what???  
  
Joey: Oh, it's REALLY, REALLY hot in here. (winks at everyone else)  
  
Rachel: No, really. What were you yelling about?  
  
Phoebe: We wanted to know if it would make you run over here if we yelled really. And it worked! High five! (goes to high five Rachl, who does not look happy. You've seen the face) Or, not.  
  
Rachel: Really, really, what were you yelling about? Were you yelling about Emily? Or the fact that Conner is staying on our couch just because Emily said that she thought it was a good idea? Or were you yelling about the fact that Ross is obviously still in love with the little British chippy? Well, you know what?  
  
The other five: What?  
  
Rachel: I'm fed up with it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I am going to take Emma and we are goign to visit her grandmother. I don't even want to think about anything remotely British. (starts to leave when some guy spills tea right in front of her) Yeah, you either! (the guy starts to say something) Nope! Just shut up! (finally makes it out the door)  
  
Chandler: Well, that was a scene, wasn't it, Monica? (turns to look at her, but she's talking to the tea guy about getting tea stains out of clothes while scrubbing the floor clean. Everyone looks at her for a minute and then just ignore it.)  
  
Joey: Yeah, but I can't believe what she said about Ross still being in love with Emily. I mean that can't be true, can it?  
  
Phoebe: Yeah, there's like, no way. You've always been in love with Rachel, right Ross?  
  
Ross is silent.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Chandler and Courtney are there. Chandler is sitting on the couch reading. Monica and Courtney are running around cleaning. Rachel comes in and stands behind Monica while she's scrubbing the top of the cabinets in the kitchen. Then Monica turns around.  
  
Monica: Bah! (that's right, she acts like Chandler)  
  
Rachel: The two of you have been living together for too long.  
  
Chandler: Really? Cause, um, I don't act like her. I don't participate in her "daily cleaning ritual." (makes air quotes)  
  
Rachel: Well, that's because she's compulsively neat.  
  
Chandler: Yeah, except for-- No, she is.  
  
Rachel: Yep. That's why you're not her yet.  
  
Chandler: Oh, okay. (goes back to reading)  
  
Monica: What about you and Ross? You've been living together almost as long as we have.  
  
Rachel: No, see, that's where you're wrong. See, we've always had that whole on-again, off-again relationship, but after we got married and divorced, and then we had Emma, and then we got married again, it resulted in about six years of living together. And then, of course, Ross got all jealous of Gunther, and he couldn't trust me, and we didn't live together for about four months, and then we got divorced again.  
  
Chandler: (still reading) _Still_ can't believe you kissed _Gunther_.  
  
Rachel takes the magazine out of his hands, rolls it up, slaps him on the head, and then hands it back to him.  
  
Rachel: Anyway, then, a year later, we got married again, and it's been four and a half years, so all in all, that's ten and a half years.  
  
Monica: Wow, that was a long and drawn-out explanation.  
  
Chandler: (not looking up from the magazine) Maybe you _are_ turning into Ross. (Rachel moves to take the magazine again, but he protects it.)  
  
Monica: So what are you doing over here? I thought you were leaving for your mom's.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, about that. I need to ask you a favor.  
  
Monica: Sure, whatever you need.   
  
Rachel: Okay. Um, can I take Courtney with me to my mom's house?  
  
Monica: Why?  
  
Rachel: Well, when I told Emma we were leaving she, like, got all mad at me and told me that the only way she would go is if she got to bring Courtney along. So, can I? Please?  
  
Monica: Well, I don't know if she would want to go.  
  
Rachel: Well, ask her. Jeez!  
  
Monica: Okay, okay.  
  
Monica walks over to the living room area where Courtney is straightening up the coffee table.  
  
Courtney: Dad, could you _be_ any messier?  
  
Rachel overhears and bursts into laughter. Monica and Chandler glare at her and she points at the label on the water bottle in her hand.  
  
Rachel: There's a water.com.  
  
Chandler: (jumps up and goes over to Rachel) Really? (Rachel shows him the label) I gotta try that out. That's gotta be cool. (Rachel, Monica, and Courtney all stare at him) I mean, uh, uh, that's so stupid! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! (the girls stop staring at him and he looks very relieved as he sits back down on the couch to continue reading.)  
  
Monica: Courtney, could I ask you a question?  
  
Courtney: Sure, Mom. What is it?  
  
Monica: Well, what would you think about going with Emma and your Aunt Rachel to Emma's grandmother's house?  
  
Courtney: Would you be going?  
  
Monica: Well, I can if you want me to.  
  
Courtney: NO! That's okay! I wouldn't want you to miss a day of cleaning. Anyway, it'll be sooo cool! Can I go? Mom, Dad, can I go?  
  
Monica: Okay, sure!  
  
Chandler: Wait a minute! Don't I get a say in this?  
  
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Of course you do.  
  
Chandler: Okay, good. (goes back to reading his magazine. The rest of them stare at him) Oh, that's all I wanted to say. 


	7. Chapter 7

Title: The One With The Flashforward  
Chapter 7  
  
Disclaimer: Do I own Friends? Nooooo. Do I wish I owned Friends? Yesssssss.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Ross and Conner are still working on clearing the apartment of books. Rachel and Emma come in.  
  
Rachel: Oh. Hi.  
  
Ross: Hi.  
  
Emma: Hey, Conner.  
  
Conner: Hey, Emma.  
  
Emma: Whatcha doin?  
  
Conner: Just helping Ro--Dad with the books.  
  
Emma: Oh. Don't they sound really boring?  
  
Conner: No, actually. I was reading one and I got past the first chapter before Dad told me to help him again.  
  
Emma: The first chapter is two thousand pages!  
  
Conner: Yes, and they were extremely well-written pages, too.  
  
Emma: (to Rachel) Please get me out of here! (heads to her room)  
  
Rachel: Um, Ross?  
  
Ross: Yeah?  
  
Rachel: Emma and I will be at my mother's house. You know, if you need us.  
  
Ross: Okay.  
  
Conner: You're leaving? When will you be back?  
  
Rachel: I don't know. Oh, and Ross, Courtney is going with us.  
  
Ross: Courtney? As in my sister's daughter Courtney?  
  
Rachel: Yes, Courtney. As in the strangest mix of people ever.  
  
Ross: Oh. Are Monica and Chandler going too?  
  
Rachel: No.  
  
Ross: So they're just letting their daughter leave for an indefinite amount of time? Without them?  
  
Rachel: Well, it's not as if she's going across the country to live with strangers! She's just going to visit her cousin's grandmother in Long Island!  
  
Ross: Well, still!  
  
Rachel: Ross, why are you yelling at me?  
  
Ross: I don't know.  
  
Rachel: You know what you could do to make me stay.  
  
Ross: Yes, I know.  
  
Rachel: You only have to say one thing.  
  
Ross: I know.  
  
Rachel: So? Are you gonna say it?  
  
Ross is silent. Emma comes from her room loaded down with luggage.   
  
Emma: Mom?  
  
Rachel: Just a second, sweetie. Ross?  
  
Ross: Yeah? (everyone is quiet for a second)  
  
Rachel: Bye. Come on, Emma.  
  
Emma: Bye, Dad. (hugs Ross) Bye Conner. (waves and then they are both gone.)  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the couch. Phoebe comes in and sits down.  
  
Phoebe: Hi, Joey.  
  
Joey: Hey, Pheebs.  
  
They are both silent. Phoebe and then Joey do the whole talking to themselves in their head thing. You know, with the voiceover.  
  
Phoebe: _Hmmm. Joey. Joey would be a cool guy to go out with. He's hot! And I already know everything about him. On the other hand, I know everything about him. Whatever. Hmm. I wonder what he's thinking about just sitting there all sexy._  
  
(A/N: Okay, I have to explain this. When Joey talks to himself in his head, he really talks to himself. It's arranged like a conversation, only Joey is having this conversation with himself.)  
  
Joey: _So, Joey, how're things going?  
  
Good, good. I've got a good job and lots of people know who I am.  
  
So, Joey, are you going out with anyone?  
  
Yeah.  
  
Who?  
  
Juulee...Michelle and Errriii..Ashley.  
  
So no one special?  
  
No, not really. Except maybe Beeerrrrnnaa...Denise.  
  
What about one of your Friends?  
  
Oh, like who? Rachel? HAH! She's married.  
  
Well, she's having trouble isn't she? Maybe they'll get divorced again.  
  
Oh, yeah! And Gunther, who like, loved her, got a kiss. Maybe I'll get a kiss. But, then again, I like Ross and Rachel. They go good together, and they got a kid together.   
  
Well, then, what about Phoebe?  
  
Phoebe? Well, Phoebe's hot, and cool. Yeah, I should ask her out. _  
  
Joey looks to where Phoebe was sitting and she is gone.  
  
Joey: (out loud, to the real world) Hey, Gunther?  
  
Gunther: Yeah, Chandler?  
  
Joey: I'm Joey. I'm the famous one.  
  
Gunther: Yeah, whatever. Didn't you used to work here?  
  
Joey: No. That _was_ Chandler.  
  
Gunther: That's what I thought.  
  
Joey: Anyway, where'd Phoebe go?  
  
Gunther: Oh, she left like ten minutes ago.  
  
Joey: What? She, like, just got here!  
  
Gunther: No, she got here like half an hour ago.  
  
Joey: Dammit! I gotta stop having conversations with myself. (runs out of the coffeehouse. Gunther just looks bewildered.)  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Ross is just sitting on his couch. All of the books and boxes are gone. There is a knock on the door.  
  
Monica: It's me.   
  
Ross gets up and opens the door.  
  
Ross: (in that Ross way) Hi.  
  
Monica: Oh, that bad, huh?  
  
Ross: Yeah.  
  
Monica: Emily and Conner went back to England today, didn't they?  
  
Ross: Yeah.  
  
Monica: So have you talked to Rachel?  
  
Ross: No.  
  
Monica: Ross, why not? It's been a week since she left.  
  
Ross: Yeah, I know. I've just got some stuff to sort out.  
  
Monica: Like what? You've always loved Rachel. There's no way you love Emily more than Rachel.  
  
Ross: Yeah, that's what I thought too. But then when I saw Emily again I didn't what to think.  
  
Monica: Ross, when you got married to Emily you said Rachel's name!  
  
Ross: That was because I had just seen her. She was in the front of my brain!  
  
Monica: Yeah, and then you saw Emily when she came down the aisle. And, then you even turned around and faced the priest. You didn't say "I take thee priest"!!  
  
Ross: (starting to get mad) Yeah, well! (calms down) What am I gonna do? Monica, what am I gonna do? Did I drive her away? Again?  
  
Monica: Oh, no, Ross. I'm sure you can fix this. You know what you have to say.  
  
Ross: Yeah. Thanks, Mon. (hugs her. She leaves. Ross picks up the phone and dials. The camera shows us each person as they talk.)  
  
Sandra Greene: (Rachel's mom, as played by Marlo Thomas--_That Girl!_) Hello?  
  
Ross: Hello, Sandra. This is Ross. May I please speak to Rachel?  
  
Sandra: Well, I don't know, are you gonna say it?  
  
Ross: Say what?  
  
Sandra: You know, say the thing that could get my daughter to come back home.  
  
Ross: Oh. You know about that?  
  
Sandra: Of course. I'm her mother, she tells me everything.  
  
Ross: Oh, okay. (does that little chuckle thing then realizes something) Ev-everything?  
  
Sandra: Yep, everything, Tiger. (growls)  
  
Ross: Okay, can I please, please, talk to Rachel?  
  
Sandra: Just a second let me get her. (the camera stays by Mrs. Greene's phone and no one is there for a minute. Then Emma comes by and picks up the phone.)  
  
Emma: Hello?  
  
Ross: Emma?  
  
Emma: Dad? Cool! Are you gonna say it?  
  
Ross: Say what?   
  
Emma: Come on, Dad, don't you know?  
  
Ross: Yes, I know, I just didn't realize you knew.   
  
Emma: Oh, yeah, Mom tells me everything. (Rachel comes up.)Okay, Dad, Mom's here.  
  
Ross: Okay.  
  
Emma: Love you.  
  
Ross: Love you too.  
  
Emma: Bye.  
  
Rachel: Hi.  
  
Ross: Hi.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, what do you want?  
  
Ross: Well, I could never love anyone else. (camera shows Rachel and she's welling up) It's always been you, Rach.   
  
Rachel: Oh, I love you! (she's crying of happiness now)  
  
Ross: (all happy) I love you too.  
  
Rachel: Okay, we'll pack and be home in a couple of hours.  
  
Ross: Okay. I can't wait to see you.  
  
Rachel: Me, either.  
  
Ross: Okay. Bye.  
  
Rachel: Bye. (Rachel looks at Emma.) Come on, Emma, we've got packing to do!  
  
Emma: Really?!  
  
Rachel: Yep!  
  
Emma: Cool! (they squeal and walk off.)  
  
  
  
~~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. All the Friends are there(no kids).  
  
Monica: Okay, so, let's see. (points to Chandler) You and (points to Joey) you got another chick and duck, (points to Ross and Rachel, who are cuddling) the two of you broke up and got back together, and (points to Phoebe) you finally broke up with David. And nothing at all has happened to me.  
  
Phoebe: Oh, Mon, at least you got to be there.  
  
Joey: Yeah, you made food.  
  
Monica: Yeah, that's what matters.  
  
Joey: Does to me! I couldn't get through a day without your abysmal food!  
  
Ross: Okay, I hate to break up this love-fest, but Rach, we gotta go pick up Emma.  
  
Rachel: Oh, you're right. Okay, well we gotta go.  
  
Ross: Did you tell them?  
  
Rachel: No, I haven't told them yet.  
  
Chandler: Tell us what?  
  
Ross: Oh, well, we are going away for the week.  
  
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, the whole week?  
  
Rachel: Yes, the whole week.  
  
Phoebe: Is Emma going with you?  
  
Ross: Yeah.  
  
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, the whole week--wait, why is Emma going with you?  
  
Rachel: Because she also hasn't seen Ross in a while.  
  
Ross: And Rachel and I said our real hello's last night.  
  
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, they said hello!  
  
Chandler: Hey, do you think Emma would want to stay here?  
  
Ross: No, she's coming with us.  
  
Everybody: Okay.  
  
Rachel: Okay, we gotta go.  
  
Everybody: Bye!  
  
Ross and Rachel leave.  
  
Monica: Hey, Chandler, we actually have to go pick up Courtney, too.  
  
Chandler: Okay. (They get up to leave, but Joey and Phoebe stay where they are.) Aren't you guys gonna leave too?  
  
Phoebe: Hmm, no I don't think so.  
  
Chandler: Okay. Bye, guys.  
  
Monica: Bye.  
  
Joey and Phoebe: Bye.  
  
Chandler and Monica leave.  
  
Phoebe: Hey, Joey?  
  
Joey:Yeah?  
  
Phoebe: Do you ever feel left out?  
  
Joey: What do you mean?  
  
Phoebe: I mean, like, Monica and Chandler are together and they have a kid, and then Ross and Rachel are together, and they have a kid. Do you ever think we should get together?  
  
Joey: I don't know. (neither of them talk for a minute)How you doin'?  
  
Phoebe giggles.  
  
Time passes.  
  
Phoebe: Hey, Joey?  
  
Joey: Yeah?  
  
Phoebe: Do you remember when we kissed?  
  
Joey: Oh, yeah! You dressed up like your sister and broke up with me.  
  
Phoebe: Yeah. (they're quiet for a sec) Hey, you wanna do that again?  
  
Joey: Okay! (they kiss) 


	8. Chapter 8

Title: The One With The Flashforward  
Chapter 8  
I own nothing. Well, I own a few things.  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Rachel and Emma are packing. It looks like a department store exploded in their living room. Ross is sitting on the couch. He has one suitcase.  
  
Rachel: Emma, honey, make sure you don't forget anything.  
  
Ross: (to himself) How could she? She's taking all of her clothes with her.   
  
Rachel: What was that, honey?  
  
Ross: Nothing, sweetie.  
  
Rachel: Okay. (leans down to kiss Ross and notices something) Oh, look, it's last month's Vogue. Ooh, I forgot that dress! (rushes off to her room)  
  
Emma: Hey, Dad?  
  
Ross: Yeah?  
  
Emma: Don't tell Mom, but I thought Conner was kinda cool.  
  
Ross: You should e-mail him and tell him that. His address is in my briefcase.  
  
Emma: Cool!  
  
Emma runs off. Rachel comes back with about six dresses.  
  
Ross: I thought you said you forgot _that_ dress. That, as in one.  
  
Rachel: Well, I found more! Aren't they great?   
  
Ross: (chuckles) Uh, Rachel, a week is seven days.  
  
Rachel: I know that.  
  
Ross: Yeah, well, your clothes don't seem to know that.  
  
Rachel: I've got to bring something for all sorts of occasions.  
  
Ross: (chuckles again) Not Christmas!  
  
Rachel: I'm not bringing anything for Christmas.  
  
Ross holds up a sweater that says "Merry Christmas" on it.  
  
Rachel: Oh, you consider that Christmasy? I don't.  
  
Ross keeps holding up Christmas clothes, like long red and green velvet dresses.  
  
Rachel: Okay, I'll take that suitcase back.  
  
Ross: And that one. (points to another one)  
  
Rachel: And that one. (she picks up both suitcases and has to drag them back to her room cause they're so heavy.)  
  
Ross: Great, now maybe _Emma_ can fit in the rental car.  
  
Rachel: (from her room) I just want to say, Ross, that if something comes up and you don't have the right outfit, don't come crying to me.  
  
Ross: Fine, you can keep the Easter suitcase.  
  
Rachel: (comes running from her room and hugs Ross) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: The hallway between Monica and Chandler's and Joey's apartments. Monica, Chandler, and Courtney are coming back from a shopping excursion in the grocery store. Monica and Courtney are each carrying one bag and Chandler is lagging behind, carrying six.  
  
Monica: Come on, Chandler, you slowpoke! You've got the key!  
  
Chandler finishes walking up the stairs.  
  
Chandler: Six flights!  
  
Courtney: Come on, Dad!  
  
Chandler: Okay! (drops his bags)  
  
Monica/Courtney: Chandler/Dad!  
  
Chandler: Well, how else am I gonna get my key?  
  
Courtney: You don't just drop the bags! You never just drop the bags! There could be something breakable!  
  
Monica: Yeah, listen to your daughter, Chandler!  
  
Chandler: Oh, she is _so_ your daughter!  
  
Phoebe walks out of Joey's apartment. Her hair is desheveled and her dress is on backwards.  
  
Chandler and Monica: Oh, my god.  
  
Chandler: Here, Courtney, take the key and go inside.  
  
Monica: Take the bags.  
  
Courtney takes the key from her father, unlocks the door, and daintily picks up her bag and Monica's purse and enters the apartment, closing the door behind her.  
  
Monica: Phoebe?  
  
Phoebe: Yeah?  
  
Chandler: Are you coming from Joey's?  
  
Phoebe: Mm-hmm.  
  
Monica: What the hell were you doing?  
  
Phoebe: Um, playing foosball.  
  
Joey opens the door in his robe.  
  
Joey: Here, Pheebs, you forgot your bra. (holds it out to her)   
  
Chandler: Was it naked foosball?  
  
Joey: Oh, hey guys. Pheebs, your bra. ( suddenly realizes) I mean, this isn't your bra. This wouldn't be your bra. Why would your bra be in my apartment? I dunno, cause the only reason would be if we were--and we weren't-- I mean, No! I mean, I'll just leave now. (turns to go. Phoebe holds out a hand to stop him)   
  
Phoebe: (dramatically) No, Joseph. We can't hide it any longer.  
  
Joey: Pheebs, what the hell are you talking about?  
  
Phoebe: (ignores him) Yes, it's true. Joseph and I are (pauses for dramatic effect, then whispers) sleeping together.  
  
Monica: (gasps) No!  
  
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last little bit.  
  
Monica: What are you deaf? She said they were sleeping together!  
  
Phoebe: Oh, my god, Monica! You are so loud! He was probably just joking.  
  
Joey: Yeah, you've been living together for years. Don't you know him yet?  
  
Chandler: Oh, my god, you don't know me at all!  
  
Monica: Sorry, I'm just a little high-strung.  
  
Chandler: Yeah, okay. (frantically to Phoebe and Joey) The two of you are sleeping together?!  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are all sitting there not talking. Ross and Rachel enter arguing.  
  
Ross: No, it was stupid to say yes to skiing!  
  
Rachel: I told you not to come crying to me if you didn't have the right clothes!  
  
Ross: You had so much stuff we couldn't fit in the car!  
  
Rachel: Shh! (to everyone else, like they weren't just arguing) Hi!!  
  
Ross: Hi.  
  
Monica: What are you guys doing back so early? It's only been three days.  
  
Ross: Yeah, well, somebody told her sister we could go skiing!  
  
Rachel: Shut up, I thought it would be fun.  
  
Ross: In shorts and a T-shirt?  
  
Rachel: I told you--  
  
Phoebe: Joey and I slept together!  
  
Ross: What?  
  
Rachel: Oh, my god!  
  
Phoebe: (all happy) Yeah, I know!  
  
Rachel: So, are you guys going out now?  
  
Phoebe: Well, I don't know, we haven't really talked about--  
  
Monica: I'm pregnant!  
  
Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross: What??!  
  
Chandler: What? How? What? Why didn't you tell me? What?  
  
Monica: Yep, I'm pregnant with twins!  
  
Chandler: What? If you haven't even told me yer, how do you know it's twins?  
  
Monica: I just do!  
  
Everyone stares at her for just a minute and then Ross and Rachel resume arguing and Joey and Phoebe start talking about dating. Chandler leans in close to Monica.  
  
Chandler: (whispering) You're not really pregnant, are you?  
  
Monica: Of course I am! Oh, you wanna feel the girl kick? She's gonna be a soccer player!  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch.  
  
Chandler: Monica, you have to let it go.  
  
Monica: No!  
  
Chandler: Monica, everyone knows you aren't pregnant.  
  
Monica: Yes, I am!!!  
  
Chandler: What is it with you and your thunder? Are you afraid someone will take your lightning, too? (starts to laugh at his own joke)  
  
Monica: Shut up, you lightning bearer!  
  
She storms away to her room. Chandler gets up to follow her, but there's a knock on the door so he goes to answer it instead. It's Rachel and Ross.  
  
Rachel: Hey! We're here to pick up Emma.  
  
Chandler: Emma's not here.  
  
Rachel: Wait....Well, then, where's Courtney?   
  
Chandler: With Emma.  
  
Ross: Where's Emma?  
  
Chandler: With Ben.  
  
Rachel: Where's Ben?  
  
Chandler: (to Ross) My god, man! Can't you even keep track of your own children?  
  
Ross: Hey, you didn't know your wife was pregnant.  
  
Rachel: With twins.  
  
Chandler: She's not pregnant!  
  
Monica enters from her room with a pillow stuffed in her shirt.  
  
Monica: Yes, I am!! (everyone turns to face her)  
  
Chandler: Monica, what the hell are doing?  
  
Monica: I'm gonna have our baby, sweetie.  
  
Chandler: You need help. Or maybe I do. (walks out the door muttering to himself)  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Joey's. Joey is there watching TV when Phoebe comes in.  
  
Phoebe: Hey.  
  
Joey: Hey.   
  
Phoebe: Guess what?  
  
Joey: (turns off the TV and turns around to face Phoebe) What?  
  
Phoebe: David finished waht he was doing in Minsk, and he came back, and he surprised me at my apartment, and he proposed.  
  
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.  
  
Phoebe: So I told him no.  
  
Joey: (perking up) Oh?   
  
Phoebe: Uh-huh.  
  
Joey: Why?  
  
Phoebe: Because.  
  
Joey: Because why?  
  
Phoebe: You're my lobster!!!  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler's back. Monica is sitting on the couch with her arms crossed above the pillow in her shirt and a mad look on her face. Ross, Rachel, and Chandler are talking to her.  
  
Chandler: You know, you don't always have to be the center of attention.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, sweetie, that's not the most important thing in life.  
  
Monica: Yeah? Well, then, what is?  
  
Rachel: Um, Ross, you wanna take over?  
  
Ross: Family. You know, you've got Courtney, and you've got Chandler. And me, and Ben and Rachel and Emma.  
  
Rachel: Why was Ben before me?   
  
Ross: What?  
  
Rachel: Why'd you list Ben before you listed me?  
  
Ross: Well, she's been related to Ben longer than she's been related to you.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, but I've known her longer!  
  
Chandler: Uh, hello? Focus! We've got an insane woman who thinks she's pregnant over her! (Monica clears her throat and gives him a look) I mean, we've got a beautiful woman who should definitely have more children, because she's soooo beautiful, she's just not pregnant yet.  
  
Monica: Thank you. I wanna have another baby!  
  
Courtney comes in.   
  
Courtney: Hey.  
  
Rachel: Hey, it's Courtney! Your daughter! Your actual, real life daughter! (gets up and hugs her)  
  
Courtney: Uh, thanks, Aunt Rachel.  
  
Ross: Hey, Courtney. Quick question. Do you happen to know where Emma is?  
  
Courtney: Yeah, she's in your apartment. She's been looking for you guys for, like, a week. What are you guys doing over here?  
  
Monica: They just are. Hey, what would you think about having a little brother or sister?  
  
Courtney: (excited)Oh, my god, Mom, are you pregnant?  
  
Monica: Yes, I am!  
  
Chandler: No, Courtney, she's not. Right, Monica?  
  
Monica: Fine, I'm not. But I wanna be!  
  
Chandler: Okay, do you wanna try?  
  
Monica: Oh, my god, YES!!  
  
Chandler: Okay! (they start to run to their room) Hey, Ross, take Courtney over to your apartment, why don't you? Thanks!  
  
The door to Monica and Chandler's room slams. Courtney and Rachel stand there with surprised looks on their faces. The look on Ross' face, however, is a look of disgust.  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are there. Phoebe and Joey enter.   
  
Phoebe: Hey!  
  
Joey: Hey.  
  
Chandler: Hey.  
  
Ross: Hey!  
  
Phoebe: So, guess what?  
  
Ross, Chandler, and Joey: What?  
  
Phoebe: Joey, you know!  
  
Joey: I do? Oh, yeah!  
  
Phoebe: Okay. Joey (pauses) proposed! (holds up her left hand)  
  
Chandler: Oh, that's great!  
  
Ross: Yeah, but are you sure it's his ring?  
  
Joey: Dude, I _knew_ you were so not good with that!  
  
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just, I... (trails off. Everyone is staring at him) So you're engaged! Cool!!  
  
Phoebe: I know!  
  
  
  
~~~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Rachel, Emma, and Courtney are knitting at the kitchen table. Emma is doing okay, Courtney and Monica are doing great, but Rachel's basically sucks.  
  
Rachel: Okay, I cannot get this!  
  
Monica: That's okay, you don't have to make any baby clothes!  
  
Rachel: God, Monica, just drop it, okay?  
  
Monica: Fine.   
  
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey come in. General 'Heys' are exchanged.  
  
Phoebe: Guess what?   
  
Rachel: What, what? I wanna know!  
  
Ross: No, you don't.   
  
Rachel: I do! I do! Tell me!!  
  
Phoebe: Well, it has to do with two of those words.  
  
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, is it about me?  
  
Phoebe: No! I do!   
  
Monica: Oh, did David propose?  
  
Joey: Yes. (under his breath) That bastard!  
  
Phoebe: Joey! There are children present! (holds out her hand to indicate the children and points to Chandler and Ross)  
  
Joey: Sorry.   
  
Phoebe: Don't tell me, tell the children.  
  
Joey: (to Ross and Chandler) Sorry, dudes.  
  
Chandler: Hey, that's okay, man.  
  
Phoebe: Okay, so like I was saying, Joey proposed!  
  
Rachel: Yeah, are you sure? Are you sure it's even his ring?  
  
Joey: (to Ross) Dude! I'm sorry!  
  
Ross: Yeah, it's okay.  
  
Monica: Hey, I get to be your maid of honor! Okay, we have a lot of planning to do.  
  
Everyone gets an 'oh, my god, not again! The devil is back!' look on their face.  
  
A/N: Okay, I think if I keep going, I can get it up to ten chapters, and then that's all I wrote. 


	9. Chapter 9

Title: The One With The Flashforward  
Chapter 9  
  
I'm back!!! *insert evil laugh* He, he...*insert more evil laughing* Oh! *insert some not so evil coughing*  
  
~~~~  
  
Scene: Courtney's room. Formerly Rachel's room, Phoebe's room, the guest room...boy, they just can't keep a character in this room, can they? Anyway, Emma and Courtney are in Courtney's room.  
  
Emma: So, what's going on today?  
  
Courtney: Well, you know how I told you Joey and Phoebe are sleeping together?  
  
Emma: Yeah?  
  
Courtney: Well, first David proposed.  
  
Emma: The scientist guy?  
  
Courtney: Yeah.  
  
Emma: You know, I've always hated him.  
  
Courtney: Oh, me too! Anyway, Phoebe said no to him, and then Joey proposed and, like, your parents are still kinda mad at Joey about the whole pregnancy, proposing with Uncle Ross's ring thing.  
  
Emma: I know, they were complaining about it last night.  
  
Courtney: Really?  
  
Emma: Yeah. They thought I was asleep, but they were talking really loudly.  
  
Courtney: Our parents are weird.  
  
Emma: Yeah, and their friends too. So what else?  
  
Courtney: My mom's pretending she's pregnant.  
  
Emma: So she's not?  
  
Courtney: No. She wants to be, though.  
  
Emma: O-kay. Your mom's really weird.  
  
Courtney: (like Monica) I know!   
  
~~~~  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the kitchen table. Monica has a sweatshirt stuffed in her shirt. They are working on Phoebe's wedding. There's stuff all over the table and Phoebe looks really bored. Chandler and Joey are in the living room watching Emma and Courtney play with the chick and duck.  
  
Phoebe: Hey, I wanna hold it in Central Perk.  
  
Monica: I don't think they'll let you do that.  
  
Phoebe: Well, then, what about Central Park? Oh, that's so cool!  
  
Monica: What?  
  
Phoebe: Central Park, Central Perk! (laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world and opens the door to leave, still laughing. She doesn't close the door and we see her run away. Rachel comes through the open door staring at Phoebe, but then she sees Monica and the wedding table.  
  
Rachel: Oh, that makes sense. (walks over to the living room where the chick and the duck are apparently racing.)  
  
Joey: Go! Go! Go, chick, go!!  
  
Chandler: No! Go, _duck_, go!  
  
Rachel: Wow, the girls found two-year-olds to play with.   
  
Chandler jumps up.  
  
Chandler: I'm just gonna be out there (points out the window) _not_ petting the dog.  
  
Rachel: Okay. Hey, Joey?  
  
Joey: (still cheering on the chick) Yeah?  
  
Rachel: Don't you have a wedding to plan, or something?  
  
Monica: Did someone say "wedding"?  
  
Joey: Oh, no!! (runs out the door. We hear him calling) Phoebe!! Phoebe!!! Wait up!!!!  
  
~~~~  
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Later. Emma and Courtney are now petting the chick and duck. The duck has a huge medal around his neck. Rachel is sitting on the couch watching them. Monica is still at the kitchen table. Chandler comes inside from their balcony thing, leaving the window open.  
  
Phoebe and Joey: (outside on the street) We're free! We're free!!!  
  
Monica: Hey, I hear Phoebe and Joey! I'm gonna go catch up with them. We have a whole lot to do! (picks up the huge wedding book and runs out the door. Chandler walks over to the girls.)  
  
Chandler: Hey! The duck won! Cool! (high fives Courtney, who's holding the duck. Then he turns around and sees Emma) Oh, too bad.  
  
Rachel: Well, Emma, I would leave you here with your incredibly _mature_ Uncle Chandler, but we need to get going.  
  
Chandler: Oh, where are you going?  
  
Rachel: We're going over to Carol and Susan's because they're having a party for Ben's 18th birthday.  
  
Chandler: Oh, okay. Wait. Why weren't we invited?  
  
Rachel: Oh, cause it's only family.   
  
Chandler: We're family!  
  
Rachel: Oh. (laughs) Oh, silly me! Did I say Ben's birthday? I meant Susan.   
  
Chandler: Susan's turning eighteen?  
  
Rachel: It's their eighteenth anniversary, I don't know.  
  
Chandler: Okay, what's really going on?   
  
Rachel: Monica's scaring me! We're going over to our apartment.   
  
Chandler: Oh, okay. Hey, you know, if we can, can we sneak out later and hang out over there with you? Please? Pretty please?   
  
Rachel: Sure, I guess so, but if you blow our cover...(shakes her finger at Chandler and Courtney.)   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: A wedding dress boutique thingie. Two weeks later. Phoebe is trying on dresses. Rachel, Monica, Emma, Courtney, and, in yet another shocking and surprising twist, Alice, Chandler the girl, and Leslie are there too. You remember them, don't you? Gooooood.   
  
Phoebe: (to a saleslady) Yeah, I like this one, but I think I want something, I don't know...even more expensive.   
  
Saleslady: Alrighty. Any preferences?   
  
Phoebe: Yeah. Expensive!   
  
Saleslady: Okay. (rushes off)   
  
Alice: Just wondering, Phoebe. It may not be any of my business, but how are you paying for this?   
  
Phoebe: Oh, well, Joey's big and famous and has been in _three_ movies. (holds up three fingers) That's three! Count 'em! Three!   
  
Alice: That makes sense.   
  
Leslie: Aunt Phoebe?   
  
Phoebe: Yeeah?   
  
Leslie: Are we invited to the wedding?   
  
Phoebe: Of course!   
  
Leslie: Are we _in_ the wedding?   
  
Phoebe: Um...(She gets uncomfortable, and you can tell they're not. Monica listens carefully, because if Phoebe says they are, all her plans will have to be changed.) Of course! You're my matching Junior bridesmaids!   
  
Monica: (off near the bridesmaid dresses) Dammit!   
  
Rachel: What? What is it, honey?   
  
Monica: Oh, uh--(notices everyone is looking at her) These bridesmaid dresses are so darn expensive! (fake laughs)   
  
Rachel: (obviously thinks she's crazy) Okay, Monica. Whatever.   
  
Chandler: (the girl. "Chandler is a girl! Chandler is a girl!" hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!) Hey, Aunt Phoebe?   
  
Phoebe: I'm so in demand today! Yeah?   
  
Chandler: Since you're marrying someone rich and famous, will you buy me a car?   
  
Alice and Leslie: Chandler!!   
  
Chandler: Oh, sorry. (motioning to Leslie and herself) Will you buy _us_ a car? (Leslie nods, satisfied)   
  
Alice: Leslie!   
  
Phoebe: Oh, no, Alice, it's okay. Maybe for their birthday. (to the girls) But if I get it for you, you have to share it with your brother.   
  
Leslie and Chandler: Okay. (run off to look at dresses.   
  
Alice: That was nice of you to include the girls in the wedding.   
  
Phoebe: Yeah, I know!   
  
Alice: What about Frank, Jr. Jr?   
  
Phoebe: Uh...he can be the ring bearer!   
  
Monica: Dammit!   
  
Rachel: What the hell is wrong with you?   
  
Monica: Nothing! (softly) I'll tell you later.   
  
Phoebe: (loudly) Tell her what later?   
  
Monica: It's nothing.   
  
Phoebe: Okay. (to Alice) I bet they're planning a party!   
  
Alice watches Leslie, Chandler, Emma, and Courtney gushing over dresses.   
  
Alice: (to Phoebe) They should. You are the greatest sister-in-law and aunt anyone could ever have!   
  
Phoebe: Aww, thank you! I know, though.   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: Joey's. Joey, Ross, Chandler(the guy), Ben, Frank Jr, and Frank Jr. Jr. are there, just hanging out.   
  
Joey: So, isn't it hard to believe that in two weeks it won't be single Joey any more? It'll be "Joey, Married Man." Hey, I could be a superhero!   
  
Chandler: Yeah, I think you'll really like it, dude.   
  
Ross: Yeah, once you got the ring and the girl straightened out--   
  
Ben: Dad! Shut up about it! It was ten years ago, and you and Rachel are the only ones who care anymore!   
  
Ross: Yeah, well, I CARE!!! Oh, you already said that, didn't you? (Ben nods.) I'm just gonna go watch TV over here. (walks over to the TV and sits down. Doesn't turn the TV on)   
  
Joey: (to both Franks) So, guys. Are you okay with me marrying Phoebe?   
  
Frank Jr: Yeah, I think you guys just go. Hey, you got any plastic spoons? (holds up his lighter.)   
  
Joey: Yeah, over there on the floor. (points. To Frank Jr. Jr) How about you? What do you think?   
  
Frank Jr. Jr: I don't know, I've never really met you. Hey, Dad, can I get in on some of that spoon action? (walks over to Frank Jr. Now it's just Joey and Chandler standing at the counter, cause Ben is over near Ross and they've finally turned on the TV)   
  
Joey: Hey, now it's gonna be three couples hanging out together.   
  
Chandler: Yeah, but it's not gonna be that different than the six single people hanging out together.   
  
Joey: But, now, no one can say they just had the best first date. Or that they gotta break up with someone.   
  
Chandler: Well, that's because that part of our lives is over. Now we can say we had a romantic night on our anniversary. Or that we're gonna have another kid.   
  
Joey: Hey, is Monica--   
  
Chandler: No, but she wants to be.   
  
Joey: Wow, that's great, good for you!   
  
Chandler: Yeah, I know.   
  
Joey: Hey, is this what you were talking about?   
  
Chandler: Yeah.   
  
Joey: Cool.   
  
They sit in silence for a minute.   
  
Joey: Hey, wanna play some foos?   
  
Chandler: Always! (they walk over to the table) And you know, about that superhero thing? If you just get a costume, we can go fight crime tomorrow, okay?   
  
Joey: Sure, whatever.   
  
Chandler: Just as long as I don't have to be Robin.   
  
Joey: But you fit the part, man!   
  
Chandler: (reluctantly) Yeah, I guess so. 


	10. Chapter 10

Title: The One With The Flashforward  
Chapter 10  
  
This is it! The end!! I've even included a tag! I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I have. If you have, review!!! It's fun!! Just like this story!!!!   
  
~~~   
  
Scene: Central Perk. The gang is there.   
  
Ross: So, Phoebe, you excited?   
  
Phoebe: 'Bout what?   
  
Rachel: Um, your wedding, sweetie.   
  
Phoebe: Oh, _oh_, hell yeah!   
  
Monica: That's great, Pheebs.   
  
Chandler: What about you, Joe?   
  
Joey: Oh, yeah. Maybe not hell yeah!   
  
Monica: Joey, you a little nervous?   
  
Joey: (nervously) No. I mean, yeah.   
  
Phoebe: (yells) What?   
  
Joey: It's not cause I don't want to marry you, Pheebs, I do. It's just, I dunno, a big step.   
  
Phoebe: Yeah, but everyone else is married.   
  
Rachel: Is that why you're getting married?   
  
Phoebe: No, that's not all of it. I want to marry Joey cause he's sweet, and funny, and hot, and, you know, I just love him.   
  
Joey: Awwww! I love you too, Pheebs!   
  
Joey and Phoebe hug, and then they start making out. Everyone else looks uncomfortable and then leaves.   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: Phoebe's. Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is showing off her dress.   
  
Phoebe: And then there's lace here, and then there's sequins here, and if you look underneath (flips dress over) there's all these blue peace signs.   
  
Rachel: Cool!   
  
Phoebe: I know, aren't they? Yeah, so now all I need is something old and borrowed.   
  
Rachel: I thought you were gonna use your mom's pearls.   
  
Phoebe: Well, yeah, I thought about that, but I don't know, cause her marraige fell apart, and then she killed herself, and there's just, like, a bad vibe coming from them.   
  
Monica: Aren't they your birth mom's?   
  
Phoebe: Oh, those! Oh, yeah, that'll work.   
  
Monica: So, Phoebe, you doing anything tomorrow?   
  
Phoebe: No, not really.   
  
Rachel: Are you sure?   
  
Phoebe: Well, let's see. Today's Friday, tomorrow's Saturday, wedding's not till next Saturday. No, nothing.   
  
Monica: Well, we're throwing you a party!   
  
Phoebe: Really? Yay! Oh, who's going to be there?   
  
Rachel: Well, it's just us.   
  
Phoebe: (angrily) What, are you kidding me?   
  
Rachel: What?   
  
Phoebe: Well, when we threw that party for Monica in two days, she had, like, thirty people show up. And now Monica is planning this and you're telling me it's just gonna be us three? That's complete and total crap! Are you kidding me?   
  
Rachel: (kinda nervously) No.   
  
Phoebe: Well, then, why the hell is it just us?   
  
Monica: (uncomfortably) It's not.   
  
Phoebe: (happily) Oh, really??   
  
Monica: Yeah, it was supposed to be a surprise.   
  
Phoebe: Oh, well, then, I won't ask who's coming. Oh, you guys are the greatest! (they all hug)   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Rachel are there on the couch. Rachel's reading a magazine.   
  
Chandler: So, we never do anything together.   
  
Rachel: Shush, I'm trying to pretend I don't know you.   
  
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, okay then. (leans back into the couch, and then looks over at Rachel again.) So...whatcha readin?   
  
Rachel puts down her magazine huffily and is about to say something when Monica and Courtney enter.   
  
Chandler: Hey, guys!   
  
Monica: Hey.   
  
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Courtney?   
  
Courtney: Yeah?   
  
Rachel: Just a little question. It's not really so much a question as a vague wondering...ment type thing.   
  
Courtney: (hesitantly) Okay.   
  
Rachel: Yeah, uh...(clears her throat) Yeah. So. Uh...   
  
Chandler: Well, go on, Rachel. Spit out this vague wondering-ment type thing that's such a tiny question.   
  
Rachel: Okay, I will. Courtney, do you have any idea whatsoever as to where my wonderful daughter--your charming older cousin--Emma is?   
  
Chandler: That was a boring wondering-ment. I'm gonna go get a cookie. (walks to the counter)   
  
Courtney: Aunt Rachel, Emma's with Uncle Ross.   
  
Monica: Actually, what she meant was her wonderful cousin Emma is with your fabulous husband Ross.   
  
Rachel: Hey, Mon, maybe you should go with your fabulous husband Chandler and get a wonderful cookie?   
  
Monica: You were thinking that, too? (walks over to Chandler)   
  
Courtney: Aunt Rachel, can I ask _you_ a question?   
  
Rachel: Sure, sweetie, anything.   
  
Courtney: Do you need me to tell you where Uncle Ross is?   
  
Rachel: Oh, I--(Ross and Emma enter) They're right there! Hey, guys!   
  
Ross: Hey!   
  
Chandler and Monica walk back to the couch with cookies. Chandler sits next to Rachel and starts to hand a cookie to her, and then looks over at Monica like, "do I have to?" Monica nods.   
  
Chandler: (reluctantly) Here, this cookie is for you. (to Monica) Do I have to say the rest of it?   
  
Monica: (firmly) Yes. Or no you-know-what.   
  
Chandler: (thinks for a minute. You can tell he's really struggling) Fine. (to Rachel) I'm sorry for making fun of you.   
  
Rachel: Why, thank you, _Monica_. (takes the cookie from Chandler and turns away. Chandler looks at Monica, shocked.)   
  
Monica: It's okay.   
  
Chandler: She stole my cookie!   
  
Monica: I know, it's okay.   
  
Chandler: I get my other cookie, tonight, though, don't I?   
  
Monica: Yeah, you do.   
  
Chandler: Good, I like that cookie.   
  
Rachel: (to Ross and Emma) So where were you guys?   
  
Ross: Oh, we just picked up my tux and Emma's dress for Phoebe and Joey's wedding.   
  
Monica: _NOW??!!!_   
  
Ross: What? (to Chandler) What'd I do?   
  
Chandler: Oh, Monica actually said, "Why the hell didn't you pick it up the second you heard they were engaged?? Why did you wait for the rehearsal dinner??"   
  
Ross: Oh, okay. (to Monica) Because, like your husband here, (Chandler starts making a stop it gesture) I am normal and lead a busy life and pick stuff up close to the last minute.   
  
Monica: (turns to Chandler) _What?!!!!_   
  
Ross: I'd be careful how you answer that, or tonight's cookie's gonna get broken.   
  
Chandler: Thanks, man. I picked it up a week ago, I swear.   
  
Monica: But he said---   
  
Chandler: He's Ross! He's been married five times!! Divorced four times!! I picked it up a week ago.   
  
Monica: Okay, I guess that's okay.   
  
Phoebe and Joey come in. Everyone says hi.   
  
Chandler: Hey, guys. I gotta go _do_ something. I'll see you at the rehearsal. (to Ross) Thanks again, Ross. Ok, bye! (kisses Monica and Courtney on the head. Joey is sitting next to them and Chandler accidentally kisses him too and then walks away spitting and wiping his mouth)   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: A chapel. Joey, Ross, Rachel, and Emma are there. Rachel and Emma are sitting in a pew, Joey and Ross are standing up near the altar.   
  
Ross: Now, Joey, don't forget what I told you.   
  
Joey: I know, I know. "I, Joey, take thee, Phoebe."   
  
Ross: Good. Now just keep repeating that. "Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe."   
  
Joey: Dammit, Ross, I'm not you, leave me alone!   
  
Ross: Fine, but don't come crying to me when you get divorced for the second time cause you said the wrong name!!   
  
Rachel: Ross, calm down and come sit next to us. (Ross does.) He's right, you know. He's not you. Only you could say the wrong name.   
  
Ross: One time!!   
  
Rachel: Not so fast. Don't you remember the rehearsal before our third wedding?   
  
Ross: I didn't mean to say Gunther! He was just, you know, in the front of my head! (indicates)   
  
Rachel: Okay. I just remember thinking, "Huh. Now I know why Carol became a lesbian."   
  
Ross: Hey! The only reason I married the lesbian was to make Monica look good!   
  
Emma: (giggling. quietly) Gunther.   
  
Ross: Hey! Don't you start!   
  
Emma: Sorry.   
  
Chandler, Monica, Courtney, and Phoebe enter.   
  
Emma: Hey, Courtney! You'll never guess what I just found out!!   
  
Courtney and Emma run off somewhere.   
  
Ross: Okay, everyone's here--it's time to get this party started! Whoo!   
  
Rachel: Nope, you can't pull that off.   
  
Ross: Yeah, didn't think so. Okay. Places!!   
  
Ross stands at the altar (he's gonna perform the ceremony). Joey and Chandler stand to the side, and Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe walk down the aisle. Then Phoebe and Joey face each other.   
  
Ross: Dearly beloved, blah blah blah, repeat after me: I Joey.   
  
Phoebe and Joey: I Joey.   
  
Ross: No, Pheebs, not you yet.   
  
Phoebe: Oh, I was wondering why you were calling me Joey. Okay. Keep going.   
  
Ross: I Joey.   
  
Joey: I Joey.   
  
Ross: Take thee (slowly) Phoe-be.   
  
Joey: Take thee (slowly) Rach-el. (everyone looks shocked) I'm joking!   
  
Rachel: Thank god!   
  
Phoebe: I was about to have to kick your ass!   
  
Ross: Okay, Joey, that was a very funny joke, but (yells) DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!   
  
Joey: Okay, geez.   
  
Ross: Back to the fake ceremony. I Phoebe. (Phoebe's staring off into space. Louder) I Phoebe.   
  
Phoebe: Oh, it's my turn now! Okay, see, I still thought it was Joey's. (all serious like when she answered the phone for Chandler in TOW the Ick Factor) I Phoebe.   
  
Ross: (mouths 'wow') Take thee, Joey.   
  
Phoebe: Take thee, David. (everyone gasps. in her normal voice) What? Joey can make a joke and I can't? Lighten up, people.   
  
Monica: (whispers to Rachel) Imagine if they had kids.   
  
Rachel: (whispers back) Oh, those poor children.   
  
Phoebe: (to Ross in her serious voice) Take thee, Joey.   
  
Ross: Okay, then we do the rings, then we say I do, then we kiss (motions for them to kiss) and then we eat cake.   
  
Phoebe: Let them eat cake!!!   
  
Joey: Let's go, it's time for food!!!   
  
Phoebe: Cool!!   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The day of the wedding. Monica, Chandler, Courtney, Rachel, and Emma are all there. Phoebe enters.   
  
Phoebe: Hey! (scattered heys)   
  
Monica: Hey, Pheebs. So, are you excited?   
  
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!   
  
Rachel: Excited, like normal, or excited like Monica?   
  
Phoebe:Well--Oh! You wanna see my Monica impression?   
  
Rachel: Ooh, yeah!   
  
Phoebe: Okay. It's really funny. Here goes. I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!!! (starts to run and falls behind the couch. Everyone except Monica laughs. Monica shoots a look at Chandler who's laughing the hardest.)   
  
Chandler: What? It was really funny! (Monica's still giving him the look) Phoebe, that was not nice and _definitely_ not funny. (Monica nods and looks away. Chandler mouths, "it really was." Ross comes in)   
  
Ross: Rachel, what are you and Emma doing over here?   
  
Rachel: We're gonna get ready over here and then we're gonna take a cab with Monica, Courtney, and Phoebe.   
  
Ross: Really?   
  
Rachel: Yeah, and you and Chandler go with Joey.   
  
Ross: Oh, okay. Come on, Chandler.   
  
Chandler kisses Monica and Courtney and leaves with Ross. Right after the door closes behind them, it opens and Joey comes in.   
  
Phoebe: Oh, Joey, you're not supposed to see me! (picks up her bag and holds it over her face)   
  
Joey: Okay. Monica, you would know this. How do you get jam out of a tux?   
  
Phoebe: (still behind the bag) Joey! You got jam on your tux?   
  
Joey: Well, yeah, but just a little bit.   
  
Monica: How much, Joey? (Joey makes a little sign with his hands) How much, Joey? (it gets really big) Oh, my god!   
  
Phoebe: What? What?   
  
Monica: Don't worry, Phoebe, I'll take care of it. (heads to the door. Quietly to Joey) You can fit in Ross' tux, right? (they leave)   
  
Phoebe: Hey, can I take my bag down now?   
  
Rachel: Yes.   
  
Phoebe lowers her bag.   
  
Phoebe: Whew! That thing weighs a ton!   
  
Emma: Where are you and Uncle Joey gonna live, Aunt Phoebe?   
  
Phoebe: Oh, at his place.   
  
Courtney: Really? Why not at yours?   
  
Phoebe: Cause this way we can all be in a row.   
  
Rachel: What do you mean by that, honey?   
  
Phoebe: Oh, it'll be me and Joey, Chandler and Monica, and you and Ross.   
  
Courtney: What about us?   
  
Phoebe: I wasn't finished. And all the little young-un's.   
  
Emma: Cool! I'm a young-un!   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: Joey's. Joey, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are there. Joey is in Ross' tux, and Chandler and Ross are playing on the Playstation.   
  
Joey: I like it! It fits.   
  
Monica: And it looks good, too.   
  
Joey: Yeah, well, everything looks good when it's got Joey in it!   
  
Monica: Joey! It's your wedding day!   
  
Joey: Sorry. The charm's just so hard to turn off!   
  
Ross: Die! Come on, die die die die! (Game makes dying noises) Yes!! I won!!!   
  
Chandler: Dammit!   
  
Monica: What are you two doing playing games, anyway? You need to get dressed now!   
  
Chandler: Sir, yes, sir! Right away, sir! (salutes, grabs his tux, and heads into his old room)   
  
Monica: You, too, Ross.   
  
Ross: Yeah, but what am I gonna wear? (gestures to Joey)   
  
Monica: You're right. Hmmm.   
  
Joey: Well, you can wear what I was gonna wear for Chandler and Monica's wedding.   
  
Monica: What's that?   
  
Time lapse to later. Joey is holding up an extremely ugly robe that is brown, bright green, hot pink, day-glo orange, and lots of other colors that don't mix, _and_ it's fluffy. Everyone gasps in horror when they see it.   
  
Joey: (proud) Pretty, isn't it?   
  
Ross: Yeah, that's right. Pretty damn ugly!   
  
Monica: There is no way I am letting you wear that. That thing shouldn't even exist!   
  
Chandler enters from his old room wearing his tux.   
  
Chandler: Whoa! What kind of ugly-ass chickens died to make that hideous thing?   
  
Joey: Now, I like it! And it's my wedding, and it's fake fur so Phoebe likes it, and I say Ross wears it!   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Phoebe, Rachel, Emma, and Courtney are there when Monica enters. Everyone is already dressed.   
  
Monica: Wow, Phoebe, you look incredible!   
  
Phoebe: Thank you! I know, though.   
  
Rachel clears her throat.   
  
Monica: You look good, too.   
  
Phoebe: All right, already!   
  
Monica: Oh, that was for Rachel.   
  
Phoebe: Oh, okay.   
  
Rachel: Th-- (Monica has already walked into her room)   
  
Emma: Hey, Courtney, we get to walk down the aisle together.   
  
Courtney: Cool! Hey, are we throwing rose petals?   
  
Rachel: No, lily petals.   
  
Phoebe: No, tulip petals.   
  
Emma: No, we're not throwing anything.   
  
Courtney: I have an idea. (yells) MOM!!!   
  
Monica: (still in her room) WHAT?!!!   
  
Courtney: (yelling) Are Emma and I throwing anything?!!   
  
Monica: (enters from her room) Yes, of course, you're throwing rose petals.   
  
Phoebe: What? I thought they were tulips.   
  
Monica: Oh, okay. (goes back to her room)   
  
Rachel: Wow, Mon doesn't know. She obviously has something on her mind.   
  
Phoebe: Yeah. (realizes something) Maybe she's pregnant.   
  
Rachel: What?   
  
Phoebe: Well, you said you were pregnant at her wedding--   
  
Rachel: I didn't _say_ it--   
  
Phoebe: Shh! I'm not finished. Okay, so before I was so _rudely_ interrupted I was saying that Monica didn't get to say she was pregnant at either of your weddings, cause she got pregnant before them and now is her last chance. I mean, unless you and Ross get divorced--again!   
  
Rachel: (shoots Phoebe a glance about the "again!") Yeah, maybe she is. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.   
  
~~~~   
  
Scene: The wedding! Yay! Ross is standing at the altar, wearing the ugly disgusting robe thing. Joey comes out and stands next to him, giving him a thumb's up and pointing at the robe. Leslie and Chandler (the girl) walk down the aisle. Rachel walks down the Frank Jr. Jr. Chandler and Monica walk down together. Courtney and Emma walk down the aisle and throw tulip petals for Phoebe in her pretty wedding dress. She stands next to Joey, they both face Ross, and...the music keeps going. Ross makes the stop it gesture, but the music keeps going until Chandler runs down the aisle and turns off the CD player.   
  
Ross: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join in the time honored ceremony of weddings and marraiges and legally binding two people for life. Or, in my case, sometimes under a month. (laughs alone) Okay. I'll leave the jokes up to Chandler. (laughs alone again) Anyhoo, we're gonna join Phoebe--um, Phoebe--(to Phoebe) What's your middle name?   
  
Phoebe: Faloola.   
  
Ross: O-kay.   
  
Phoebe: With a "p-h."   
  
Ross: Well, then. Phoebe Phaloola Buffay and Joseph Francis Tribbiani in holy matrimony. Um. Wait just one second. (pulls out a piece of paper) It's my cheat sheet. (shows it off) Okay. The rings. We use these rings to symbolize that your love is everlasting. Like a circle. Or-or, a doughnut. (laughs alone) Okay. Say, "With this ring, I thee wed."   
  
Phoebe and Joey: (putting the rings on each other) With this ring, I thee wed.   
  
Ross: Good. Now, Joey, do you take Phoebe?   
  
Joey: Oh, yeah, I do!   
  
Ross: Phoebe, do you take Joey?   
  
Phoebe: Hell, yeah! I mean, I do.   
  
Ross: Okay, well. What is next, what is next. (reads his cheat sheet) Oh, yeah. Joey, repeat ater me. I Joey.   
  
Joey: I Joey.   
  
Ross: Take thee, Phoebe.   
  
Joey: Take thee, Phoebe.   
  
Ross: To be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to--   
  
Joey: Wait! To be my lawfully wedded wife and so on.   
  
Phoebe: Yeah, and I take Joey. Hey, are we married yet?   
  
Ross: Wait, that's not how it goes. (frantically reads the cheat sheet)   
  
Joey: So are we married yet??   
  
Ross: (gives up) I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride.   
  
Joey: Finally!! (kisses Phoebe. People applaud and...)   
  
Monica: I'm PREGNANT!!!!   
  
Rachel: I am too!!   
  
Monica: Rachel!   
  
Phoebe: Wait, no, don't yell! I am too!!   
  
The Husbands(that's so cool): WHAT??!!!!   
  
~~~~   
!   
~~~~   
  
Scene: Wedding reception. Joey goes up to the band and speaks into the microphone.   
  
Joey: Uh, hi. I just want to say thank you for coming, and I am now going to sing a song to my new bride, Phoebe.   
  
Phoebe: Cool! (to those around her) His voice is irresistable.   
  
Joey: Okay, it's a very special song to her, and I hope she likes it. (starts to sing) _Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault. They won't take you to the vet, you're obviously not their favorite pet. You may not be a bed of roses, and you're no friend to those with noses. Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not you faaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuult._   
  
Phoebe goes up to him.   
  
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Take me. Take me now.   
  
Joey: Cool!!! (picks her up and runs out with her)   
  
THE END!!! 


End file.
